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God's Formula for a Happy Marriage - Basic Marital Needs - Compatibility Test
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There is mass confusion and chaos today concerning what the role of the husband is and what the role of the wife is in the marital relationship. According to the Bible, the goal of marriage is to achieve completeness, oneness and unity. In Genesis 2:24 God declares; “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”. (See also Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:6-9; Ephesians 5:31). In order to effectively achieve this oneness or unity in the marriage the husband and the wife must know and fulfill their biblical roles as ordained by God.
Sadly, the problem with most modern marriages today is that there is mass confusion and chaos concerning what the role of the husband is and what the role of the wife is; what their specific responsibilities are in the marital relationship. To be sure, this kind of confusion, chaos and frustration exists in many marriages today mostly because there has never been a sorting out of the responsibilities of the Husband and the Wife. Basically, in a marriage where there are no job descriptions, there will be confusion, chaos and frustration.
To avoid this problem, The Bible defines the husband's God-given responsibilities to his wife, as well as the wife's God-given responsibilities to her husband. In this article we are going to focus on a husband’s responsibility to his wife. As defined by the bible, a Husband’s two key responsibilities to his Wife is (1) He is to love her:
First, according to the bible, a Husband is responsible to love his Wife. In Ephesians 5, three times God commands the husband to love his wife: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” Ephesians 5:25.
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself”. Ephesians 5:28
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband”. Ephesians 5:33
Most assuredly, the Scriptures detail the true way a man is to love his wife; he is to cherish her, protect her, nourish her, provide for her, satisfy her, care for her, sacrifice for her to the same degree and extent, and in the same manner as he does himself. The bible also says; "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church." Ephesians 5:25. “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” Ephesians 5:28-29.
How did Christ love the church? Bible scriptures speak of the breadth, length, height and depth of the love of Christ, which surpasses knowledge (Ephesians. 3:17-19).
To be sure, He loved us despite our sin (unconditionally) Romans 5:8
He chose to love us (volitionally) 1 John 4:10; Ephesians 1:4
His love is an intense love -- John 13:1; Ephesians 5:2, 25
His love is an unending love Jeremiah 31:3; Romans 8:38-39
His love is an unselfish love Philippians 2:6-7
His love is a purposeful love -- Ephesians 5:26-27; He works for our improvement, our development, our happiness, our welfare. His love is a sacrificial love -- He loved us and gave himself for us. He died, the just for the unjust, to bring us to God. In love, He endured the horrible death of the cross with all of its physical and spiritual torture and agony. In love, He bore the guilt and penalty of sin and the wrath of God in the place of His people. In love, He personally bore our sins in His own body on the cross so that the penalty and power and devastating effects of sin in our lives might be broken (Ephesians 5:2, 25; Galatians 2:20; I Peter 3:18; Romans 5:6-11; I Peter 2:24).
His love is an obvious (manifested) love -- Christ manifests (shows) His love in words and deeds. He tells us He loves us. He shows us He loves us. He protects us, prays for us, guards us, strengthens us, helps us, defends us, teaches us, comforts us, chastens us, equips us, empathizes with us, and provides for all our needs (John 10:1-14; 14:1-3; 13:34, 35; 15:9-10; Romans 8:32; Philippians 4:13, 19; Hebrews 4:14-16).
So ask yourself; is your love for your wife unconditional, intensive, unending, purposeful, unselfish, sacrificial and obvious? Do you really love your wife as you love yourself? Are you really pressing toward the goal of loving your wife as Christ loved the church? This is the kind of love that God desires for a Husband to have for his wife.
If not here are some Tangible Ways You Can Love Your Wife:
1. Provide for her needs (1 Timothy 5:8; Ephesians 5:28) -- Physical, emotional, social, intellectual, sexual, spiritual needs.
2. Listen to her and talk to her while giving her your full attention (Proverbs 25:11)
3. Protect her (Ephesians 5:29; 1 Peter 3:7)... from harm, from trying to do more then she can or should do ...and give her a breather from the demands of the children
4. Encourage her (Ephesians 4:29)
5. Help her (Ephesians 5:25)
6. Share your life with her and encourage her to share hers with you (1 Peter 3:7)
7. Be satisfied with her (Proverbs 5:19)
8. Make her first place in your life (1 Peter 3:7)
9. Sacrifice for her, choose to do her will (Ephesians 5:25)
10. Express commitment to her (Matthew 19:6)
11. Treat her tenderly, courteously, respectfully (Ephesians 4:32)
12. Overlook her faults (1 Peter 4:8; Colossians 3:13)
13. Openly show that you cherish and appreciate her (Ephesians 5:29, 2 Timothy 3:2 not unthankful)
(2) The Husband is to lead her. According to the bible the Husband is responsible to lead his Wife. Now, since men have that responsibility and will be held responsible for how we lead our wives and our homes, we need to understand what leadership really is. In our society many think of a leader as one who barks out orders and bosses others around. Others hold the dictatorial view of leadership looking at leadership as empowering the leader with absolute power and supreme authority. Others look at leadership as one who guides the group. However the biblical view differs somewhat from the society view of what a leader is to be. Being a leader, biblically speaking, means that the husband must be the family's biggest servant. He leads by example. He is not a cruel dictator, but a loving leader, with the best interests of his wife on his heart, leading by example. (Colossians 3:19). Matthew 20:20-28 reveals Christ’s design of leadership. It shows us what leadership is and what it is not.
Read what the bible says about the leadership of the Husband:
“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee”. Genesis 3:16
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body”. Ephesians 5:23
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God”. 1 Corinthians 11:3
“One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)” 1 Timothy 3:4-5
“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression”. 1 Timothy 2:11-14
The Bible is clear. The husband has the God ordained responsibility to be the head of his wife and the head of the home. He will be accountable to God for how he exercises that leadership!
In conclusion, God’s will for every Husband is to LOVE and LEAD his Wife.
INVISIBLE SPIRITUAL FORCES
